That Age-Old Question

 

                                                     Image courtesy of crazy-jokes.com

How are we going to pay for our old people? LML mulls it over.

Old people really are an outrageous inconvenience. Not only do we have to contend with them occupying prime spots on public transport and hobbling cripplingly slowly down the Strand in the middle of rush hour when, actually, SOME OF US HAVE PLACES TO BE GRANDPA, TIME IS MONEY, CHOP BLOODY CHOP, but once they’ve expended their economic utility we actually have to pay for the old crones to have the privilege of lying in a dank, state-funded room stewing in their own stinking piss. It really is beyond the pale.

The question of who pays and cares for the elderly is critical. Medical advancements and better information on healthy living mean that the number of people living past the age of 85 will double in the next 25 years. Whilst healthy lifestyles and medical innovation are clearly to be applauded, we have become victims of our own riotous success, thoughtlessly pursuing the single-minded goal of long life with no consideration for how it might impact our society, economy or quality of life. Progress for progresses sake.     

Well, we’re here now and we have three payment options for elderly care – the individual, the family or the state. Let’s take each of these in turn:

If an individual has to pay for their own care then we will end up with two bands of people: those who can afford it and those who can’t. Of those who can’t, some people will have foolishly and impudently frittered their money away, and that quite rightly makes the rest of us angry about the prospect of having to provide for these selfish and foolhardy individuals. However many others simply will not earn enough in their lifetime to pay for adequate care. Whatever the reason, these people will need somewhere state-funded to go - we can’t have old people lying in the street starving and soiling themselves – and unless we drum up extra funding these places will inevitably be squalid, underfunded hell holes because proper elderly care costs. A lot. 

Once upon a time families were responsible for the care of their elderly but times have changed. In Asian cultures, the older generation with their wealth of experience, wisdom and knowledge are treated like demi-gods, whilst here a trip to the parents is an experience to be borne, not cherished. The pitiful situation of ‘Grandpa’ in the Simpsons TV show is an amusing caricature of the real-life disintegration of the family. I’m not blaming just the children here – many elderly people themselves object to being uprooted and moving in with younger family members. It’s a two way street and it’s deeply lamentable. If you can’t rely on your own flesh and blood to empty your catheter then who can you?

And so to the state. Whilst the idea of a ‘death tax’ has historically been unpopular, our other two options are, quite frankly, no goers unless we are prepared to allow those individuals without a loving family or bountiful riches to languish in sub-standard care. (Incidentally, the term ‘death tax’ is an unfortunate and inflammatory misnomer that should be renamed the ‘fair tax’, because that is exactly what an inheritance tax is. It doesn’t adversely affect rich or poor or contribute to existing wealth inequalities. If you inherit money from someone it is not your divine right or entitlement but a fortunate and lovingly bestowed gift from beyond the grave. )

I fully support an inheritance tax that everyone will have to pay and the proceeds of which will go towards elderly care for all of us, either in an old peoples’ home, or in our own home. Whilst there will be those who recoil from the prospect of having some of their money entailed away from the family line, to me it makes perfect sense that the unused assets of a citizen be used to make the end of their life as comfortable and dignified as possible. Elderly care should be included in the same bracket as healthcare and education – a public good that everyone should be entitled to, and therefore everyone should pay for.

The elderly population in this country deserve proper care. It is a travesty that we have allowed them to wither in the shadows for so long like scrap heaps of junk metal when they have contributed so substantively to society, the least of which is their economic contribution. One thing I struggle to understand is our reluctance to provide for them - these people aren’t a minority that we can venomously push to one side, they are you and me, our siblings, partners, children and grandchildren. We must all confront our own steady and relentless decay and I suspect that when the time comes we will all appreciate the opportunity to do so with as much grace and dignity as possible.

Personally, I’m going to get myself a top-notch dealer and spend the rest of my days in a glorious (legal) drug-addled sunshine disco popping stupor on a bed of Krispy Kremes with stringent instructions to family not to resuscitate should I kick the bucket. It’s a lot cheaper than life in an old people’s home and, let’s face it, a hell of a lot more fun.